The John Deere Letters

by Schroedinger's Cathouse

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This is more of an Alt-country offering.

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released June 18, 2010

All Music and Lyrics by J. Ross Goforth and Joseph Scott. All instruments played by the same

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Schroedinger's Cathouse Columbia

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Track Name: A Traditional Life
I am a loaded gun
I am a hunter's son
I have a traditional life
I am a peaceful man
Live as simple as I can
I have a traditional life
Every time I try to wake up
From my half-remembered dreams
I realize the real
Is stranger than it seems
I am an ATM
I was told to sink or swim
I have a traditional life
My appetites are orthodox
I'm a thief in the village stocks
I have a traditional life
Every time I try to wake up
From my half-remembered dreams
I realize the real
Is stranger than it seems
You can dig for deeper meaning
Or shrug off all the strife
Two paths - different directions
That lead to a traditional life
I'm a philosopher
I'm a court jester
I have a traditional life
I am a living soul
Buried six feet in a hole
I have a traditional life
I have a traditional life
Track Name: Tempest in a D-Cup
She’s mean to your friends and treats you real bad
Insults your mom’s cooking and flirts with your dad
Spends all your money and wrecks your new car
Leaves you at home while she’s out late at the bar
She’s trouble and she’s drama every minute of the day
When she’s on a tear you better get out of the way
She’s the kind of girl who’ll mess your life up
She’s a tempest in a D-Cup
When she’s in a good mood she can be so nice
She’s a girly-girl made of sugar and spice
She’ll hug and she’ll kiss you and she’ll love you long time
But you can’t predict her, there’s no reason or rhyme
So you take it when you get and hope for it to last
‘Cause you know when it’s over you’ll be caught up in the blast
She’s the kind of girl who’ll mess your life up
She’s a tempest in a D-Cup
I don’t know if you’ve been in love with such a girl
Let me tell you Brother, she can really rock your world
But more often than not she’ll leave you crying in your beer
So if you meet that kind of girl, you’d better steer clear
Unless you think that kind of thing is heaven sent
Then you must be a glutton for, huh, punishment
She’s the kind of girl who’ll mess your life up
She’s a tempest in a D-Cup
Track Name: Fallin'
Met her in St. Louis
It was my 18th 4th of July
Kissed her ‘neath the Gateway Arch
Flowers blooming in the sky
Made love in her parents basement
They were at a Cardinal’s game
She acted like nothin’ happened
But for me things weren’t the same
I can’t keep from falling
And I work without a net
When the ground’s rushin’ at you
There’s no time for regret
After the crash landing
You realize the truth
Love is like skydiving
Without a parachute
Next time I lost my heart
Was to this college girl
She majored in psychology
And gave my head a whirl
Sexual experiments
Were what she liked to do
She dropped me as lab partner
When the class was through
I can’t keep from falling
And I work without a net
When the ground’s rushin’ at you
There’s no time for regret
After the crash landing
You realize the truth
Love is like skydiving
Without a parachute
Began making sweet music
She played bass in a cover band
We went on tour together
We weren’t a one night stand
But even the power of rock
Couldn’t stop us going under
Our song never broke the chart
I was just her one hit wonder
I can’t keep from falling
And I work without a net
When the ground’s rushin’ at you
There’s no time for regret
After the crash landing
You realize the truth
Love is like skydiving
Without a parachute
Track Name: Red on the Head
Playing a show at Mojo's on a hot Saturday night
There were girls all around and they were looking alright
Girls of every shape and size were out there on the floor
Lots of blondes and brunettes, but I must have wanted more
The drummer shouted "is there any girl you'd like to meet after the show?'
I just shook my head and said "hey man, I don't know"
But then I remembered what my daddy always said:
He said "red on the head means good in the bed"
That was when I saw her in her black velvet dress
Lost my place in the song and the whole thing came out a mess
But she danced to it anyway and that made me glad
I'm so happy I remembered about my dear old dad
He was wrong about a lot of things but this time he was right
That redhead treated me like a rockstar that night
Because I remembered what my daddy always said:
He said "red on the head means good in the bed"
I called in sick on monday - bet you can guess why
I wasn't 'til Tuesday morning, that lady said goodbye
She picked me up and threw me down - she nearly broke my bed
Man, that girl surely did a number on my head
But thats okay with me you know I'd do it all again
'cause there is nothing finer than a hot redhead girlfriend
I'll always remember what my daddy always said:
He said "red on the head means good in the bed"
Track Name: Hothouse Dawn
Fields of green I have seen
Where hours stretch into days
Where cedar trees weave needle beds
And I breathe their perfume
Summer wind turns my head
And pulls breath from my lungs
’Tween these old hills’ flint shoulderblades
A cool stream winds its way
Children grow older and
The Earth grows older too
Summer’s heat enfolded and
Ensnared by sky of blue
Swept up and dropped in a wasteland by this high-tech tornado
Stranded in the middle of miles of age-cracked concrete maze
Smokestacks cut the horizon and excrete into the sky
And the asphalt web we spun it scars the land
Shattered bottles decorate the sidewalk we thought we needed
Badly enough to turn our meadows six feet under
Rusting cars fly madly over bridges from nowhere to nowhere
To sit still in rush hour crowds
I walk these barren streets and I think we had too many wants
We wanted to have dominion over the Earth
We wanted to be the masters and the proprietors of nature
We wanted to build the hothouse dawn we saw
With our blueprint eyes
We got our wish and so the spring
Comes earlier every year
Track Name: Tale of the Zombie
Simon Garth was a ruthless man
Born and raised down in Alabam’
Spent most his life down in New Orleans
Made a fortune selling Coffee beans
His daughter Donna was sweet sixteen
Belle of the ball and a social queen
She was caretakers Gyps’ only desire
Burned his soul like a raging fire
Garth wouldn’t let such a lowly man
Touch his daughter’s lily-white hand
Beaten and fired, Gyps was sent away
But swore he have his Donna one day
This is a tale of the bayou
Vengeance from beyond the grave
Voodoo down in the swampland
Turns a corpse to a slave
Layla was a Voodoo priestess
Found her self in a terrible mess
Forced by Gyps to cast her Juju spell
To send ole Garth to an undead hell
But Simon held the key to her heart
So she left out a vital part
Simon died but he kept his soul
And clawed his way from a graveyard hole
A talisman she created
Kept the monster at bay
Gyps found out he was cheated
And took the amulet away
This is the tale of the Zombie
A rotting shell of a man
The amulet of Damballah
Is all that can stay his hand
Gyps tried to control the zombie
To scare Donna to his heart
But Garth broke free of his master
And tore the bastard apart
This is a tale of the Zombie
Some say he still walks the night
Trying to find some redemption
Send his soul to the light
This is a tale of the bayou
Vengeance from beyond the grave
Voodoo down in the swampland
Turns a corpse to a slave
This is the tale of the Zombie
This is the tale of the Zombie
Track Name: Roswell
I don’t mean to hurt you baby, but I am so confused
Am I too sacred to show my feelings?
Couldn’t stand to have my heart abused
If I take a chance and let you in, let love begin
Will you stand by me through thick and thin?
I’m sorry, Maria
I don’t know if I’m brave enough
I’m sorry, Maria
I can’t afford to fall in love
I’m so used to being lonely, don’t know any other way
It’s so hard to trust another, I don’t even trust myself
How’d I let it get like this? Started with one kiss
My head tells me go, but my heart says no
I’m sorry, Maria
I don’t know if I’m brave enough
I’m sorry, Maria
I can’t afford to fall in love
Secrets and lies, visions and spies, difficult decisions
Wanna do what’s right; I don’t want to love you
But I don’t wanna lose you, like everything before
I can’t take it anymore
I’m sorry, Maria
I don’t know if I’m brave enough
I’m sorry, Maria
I can’t afford to fall in love
Track Name: Netflix
There are lots of great movie that I have never seen
Zabriski Point, and La Jette, Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean
These are just a few that you would find by looking at my list
But they are moving downward now that you and I have kissed
If your life was a movie, this is what I’d do
I’d put you at number one in my Netflix que
In all of the great romances that have ever been made
Some stars are still brightly shining and will never fade
I hope our story joins then in the annals of the great
And we get a happy ending if the show runs late
If your life was a movie, this is what I’d do
I’d put you at number one in my Netflix que
Now that I have received you, I’ll never send you back
No matter how many others request you for their stack
I’m gonna keep you forever and a day
And over and over, I’ll just hit replay
If your life was a movie, this is what I’d do
I’d put you at number one in my Netflix que
Track Name: This Girl's Got a Gun
First time that I saw her I felt something inside
Tried to play it cool, but I just couldn’t hide
Feelings I had for her almost drove me wild
I felt weak and couldn’t speak whenever she smiled
Now, I worked up my nerve and finally asked her for a date
She said okay pick me up at quarter to eight
Later that night, she left her purse lying on my bed
I saw the glock inside and thought, my God I’m dead
Now my heart’s screaming danger boy keep your back to the door
Slow down son she’s still a stranger, learn a little more
Now something’s telling me that I should run
Maybe it’s because I know that this girl’s got a gun
How was I to know that she was packing heat?
Now if I do something wrong, well I could be dead meat
I’m walking a tightrope; I know there’s no net
She’s got her weapon loaded, won’t let me forget
Well we went out again, I guess I passed the test
I must have been wearing a bullet-proof vest
I just didn't know if I'd be kissed or shot
But she's loaded for bear and well that's kinda hot
Now my heart’s screaming danger boy keep your back to the door
Slow down son she’s still a stranger, learn a little more
Now something’s telling me that I should run
Maybe it’s because I know that this girl’s got a gun
She’s got a gun, knows how to use
She’s got a gun, don’t make her choose it
She’s got a gun, knows how to use
She’s got a gun, don’t make her choose it
Track Name: Skin Turned to Mail
I wanted you to stay in this enchanted circle
I wanted you to bathe in this in this green pond
I wanted you to break with all your people
I wanted you to keep my commandments fond
‘Cause after all the stupid shit I’ve done
And after all you put me through
Baby, all you’ve got is me
And all I’ve got left is you
And every other family can turn to rust
And every skyscraper fail
And the dreams of all can turn to dust
But our skin will be turned to mail
A love is not an enchanted circle
Nor a pond the depth of which is easy to find
You would not break with all your people
I would break with all of mine
But after all the stupid shit you’ve done
And after all I put you through
Baby, you’re still here with me
And I’m still here with you
Still here with you
Still here with you